The best day of three years us knowing each other was the day we first met. Our first date. When we were sitting at a cafe and i was looking at you, looking at you for the first time. I didn't know you then. I didn't know who you were and you didn't know much about me. That time was the best. Time when i didn't know what would happen, didn't know the future. Time whne i could dream, imagine what our life could be. I dreamed about you as a man i did not know, i was falling asleep with a smile on my face. In the morning i was going to school being happy that in the evening i would meet you, all day i was imaging how we would spend that evening. After school taking a bus, then walking on the cracking snow being cold. Those times were the best because of its exitement, the pleasure of the first dates… In the morning i would wake up in such cold apartment but in such a warm bed with you, the stranger. You would pull me closer to yourself being half asleep. So close, hard and with such tenderness to your warm nacked body. Those hugs, those movements you had done without thinking were so honest… I would get up then and watch a TVshow, eat something of your fridge and go to school. 

We could chat on the phone next day so easily, and then not caring about each other until the next time we would meet. I didn't speak english well back then, and your russian wasnt perfect. So most of the time we spent together we would just watch something having smoke breaks and drink wine. But i felt so calm being there in that room by your side. I didn't care about anything, nothin would exist for that night. I just was happy to be there with your eyes smilling at me. We didnt mean much to each other but some how it was the happiest time in my life. 

Remember when you asked me to stay, when you wre saying sorry when in front of you i deleted your number. Your eyes were honest, you wouldn't let me pass the door and now i realize that at that moment you really cared for the first time. I remember your eyes, they were scared, you knew i would go, you knew i didn't care and you were afraid, afraid to lose me. I never saw that honest fear ever again. 

Do we have future? If we do not i will keep those memories for ever, our happiness will stay with me for ever. 

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