Feel empty.

The war that started in Donetsk and two villages around the city is moving now. It is coming to Dnepr. People say that ''they'' (who started it all) are moving to the country's heart. Means Kiev. It is spoken that Russia wants us to not be an independed country anymore. When we kill each other completely and when the country goes poor someone will come to ''help us''. This help will be solved by taking us and make us a colony of the country, the one which will come. Some say it will be USA, some say it will be Russia. I think that US doesnt need us and dont really give a damn about us. Most likely it will be Russia. Big brother will take the little one back. Yey. What will happen then? I dont want to be a part of them. I was born in Ukraine, not soviet union.Soviet union was destroyed just a year before i came to this world. That means that i was meant to be born in THIS country, in an independed one, not in a colony. And now it is going to be taken away. My freedom, my home is going to be taken away. How should, or better question how will i live there? Between the strangers, the people i dont want to live with.

My region was the one, like people here thought, most protected. They were wrong. Unfortunately. 

People are going crazy. The shops are almost empty. People are buying everything that can be bought. Some of the products you already can hardly find. They gathering water, as there are gossips that it will be turned off soon for a long period of time. Our goverment already suggests to make our apartments warmer as well as we can, as it is possible we will not have the heating on this winter. 

My city is very small. Almost all people here work at the factories. The products that were made by this plants were being bought by Russia. Only. Now Russia stoped partnership with us. So our products are not needed. There is no work left at the plant. My grandfather has already lost his job. My greandmather recieves pention which is 800uah per a month. My grandfather makes a bit more. Does the goverment care how they will survive? The answer is simple — no. I cant find a job. Companies dont hire people as they have no money to pay with. They dont hire people because they are not sure if their company will exist tomorrow. 

Slowly, quitely my country, my home is falling apart. I want to be wrong. I will be so happy if everything finishes well and we will grow a strong nation, strong country. But today's situation says the opposite. 

My little cousin, who is only six years old told me today ''When the war comes we all will hide in a little bacement that grandparents have under the house. We have some food there hidden. But if they blow up a bomb near the house and the exit will get destroyed we will die down there because the air will run off''. 

Scares me. You dont know wha to excpect and it makes you feel even worse. 

I am left with no job. No money. I am not needed at any place. September comes soon. I need to pay for uni and for the transport to go there… I have about two hundred uah left. That is all my cash. My mom has food to give me, but no money to help me with.

I wish JC were near. He would find the right words to say to make me feel safe, to calm me down. He'd hug me, would kiss me, look me in the eye, play with idiots and i would have only positive thoughts left in my head. I would only care to go to the shop and think about what to eat for dinner.